When I said I would be in Kochi for my mother’s 84th birthday a friend of mine said ‘it is a very important birthday to celebrate. At 84 a person has witnessed a thousand full moons’. Wow, what a wonderful concept and sure enough the day before we saw the thousandth moon. To be healthy, wealthy, and with a loving family around, well very few enjoy this indeed.
My mother had unfortunately deteriorated further since I saw her a few months earlier. Her mind was not strong, and she was increasingly a bundle of nerves. Earlier she appeared confused. Now she showed signs of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). I never knew this was a disease, in fact I thought OCD was the creation of someone’s sense of humour.
I discovered that my brother, a doctor, was treating her for this, in other words, depression. My brother is a great believer in allopathic medicine and sees every problem in medical terms. All problems have a solution in medicines and poor mother who never took a single medicine in her entire life, who was never ill, not even with a headache as I remember it, now was a nervous wreck. I do not mean that the medicines are the cause, but neither are they the cure. She took her medicine erratically, which was part of the problem.
My mother suffered from pangs of anxiety. She was anxious about everything. She got particularly agitated when the cook was to appear. What to ask her to do, how to get the supplies required? She had not learnt to designate work to others, particularly cooking. Her part-time maids were mainly cleaning staff and they pretty much did as they pleased. No supervision or criticism or scolding from Mother. So now, how to handle a cook, who had to be told what to do? This was a nightmare for her. With all of us at her place the nightmare increased. If we decided to invite someone home to dinner, the Lord help us! Still we celebrated our wedding anniversary at my mother’s home. After the food was served and my brother started some ridiculous party game, my mother began to relax.
Not sure how long she would manage the house alone. She enjoyed her 84th birthday celebrations at Holiday Inn with all of us, thousand moons may be blessed.
Unni-Verse 